Mark buys himself a Superbowl ring and leverages it to get special treatment at the Eagles game; Hank has an adventure with cutting-edge mascot technology.

Jealous of the attention Tammy gets for saving the life of a choking stranger, Mark buys a Jaws of Life to efficiently save lives; Tammy's life is threatened when she rejects the advances of Paul, the stranger she saved.

When Tammy is upset that an elite country club only takes men, Mark joins it to supposedly change things from within; Tammy's passion for the club infuriates the owner's wife, Ellen; Mark's entry into the club ruins the natural order.

Mark, in an attempt to bond with his stepson Darren, insists on teaching him how to throw a handmade boomerang that was gifted to Darren by his father. The two soon find themselves on a trek deep into the Jersey woods in search of it, where they encounter the Jersey Devil himself. Meanwhile, David is the recipient of a sex doll that he swears he didn't order, and is put through the wringer trying to return it.

When David, Andrea, Mark, and Tammy go on a cruise together, David and Andrea unexpectedly rekindle their romance. Mark's preoccupation with reeling in a big fish to outcompete Steve DelVecchio leads to him catching a whale that jeopardizes the safety of the entire cruise. Meanwhile, Hank goes on a date with a mermaid that goes awry when she reveals her distaste for hot dogs.

Threatened by a doctor's kindness toward Tammy, Mark tries to get her an exotic animal, only to have his face ripped off by the newly purchased chimpanzee. Meanwhile, Hank bonds with the chimpanzee via its bluetooth, and David's dog saves David and Mernft Man from a pet snake.